My Intersection

Over the past several years, in the midst of the long hours and frustrations, at times I have questioned whether I made the wrong choice pursuing the coaching profession, which I believe is a question that many people of all ages grapple with. Now, despite still not having had any tangible success (see previous blog EVEN IF), I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be, and I hope that my revelation might help someone else that may be dealing with similar lingering uncertainty.

While recently reading Garden City, I realized that “Why I Coach” is really not quite as simple as “To make an impact” or “It’s what I’m passionate about” or “I have a future there.” Coaching is what is right for me because it is my Intersection. Coaching is where the different viewpoints of my calling collide. When I think about how to evaluate what you’re going to do with the rest of your life, I feel that a couple of perspectives/questions emerge that people use to make that decision.

Gifting

What am I good at?

This could be a useful perspective. At some level, being skilled/talented in an area could/should correlate to future success and maybe even contentment. But what if what you’re really good at just isn’t very useful? What if you’re not passionate about it? What if it doesn’t give you much of a chance to grow?

Passion

What do I love?

A ton of people use this question as their filter. If there was a single filter to use, this one might be it. If you’re passionate about something, that should lead to contentment and hopefully success. But what if what you’re passionate about, you’re simply not very good at? What if you have no background/network to get you a start in that field? What if, at best, you can only hope to be average in that area?

Impact

Whose lives can I change for the better?

This has been a key part of my identity for a long time. Both on an intimate, emotional level, and on a more broad social level (Change the World). I want to make a difference, both in the lives of individuals and in the world around me. But what if the place where I can make the most impact, I don’t have the requisite skills and abilities to be successful? What if, while attempting to impact others, I would sacrifice my own growth and contentment?

Potential

Where can I grow the most?

This has a lot to do with your personal background, experiences, and connections. Everyone is geared more towards certain things than others based on how you grew up, who you know, and how your skills and abilities translate. But there are certain paths that you might be immediately successful in, yet there isn’t much of a ceiling in. You might be challenged and content in that industry for the next 5 years, but what about in 10? 20?

What I am getting at is this: I think the entire direction of one’s life is of far too great of significance to simplify to a single question.

I truly believe that if I was basing my vocation based off of any single one of those questions, I would be doing something else.

Gifting? Business or Sports Admin

Passion? Leadership or Ministry

Impact? Missions or Politics

Potential? Business or Politics

What I have devoted my life to doesn’t make the top 2 in any of those four areas…. WHAT??

Coaching is not the highest point on any of those lines.

Coaching is where those four lines intersect.

Gifting– My intellect, communicative skills, and leadership ability are useful here.

Passion– I love competing. I love watching others grow. I love diagnosing and solving problems. I love getting better.

Impact– I get a chance to impact the lives of individual young men on a daily basis AND I have a chance to use the platform of sports to promote positive social change beyond the field.

Potential– I am a coach’s kid that grew up around the game. I have had a chance to play for and coach with the ABSOLUTE BEST in the industry. I am better suited in this industry than any other to have long-term success.

I believe that our calling is where our GIFTING, PASSION, IMPACT, & POTENTIAL collide.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do believe that I am right where God has called me to be. For that, I am grateful.

When people used to offer me advice about my life path, they would say things like “Just do what you love” or “Well what are you good at?” Inwardly, I would roll my eyes and think If it were only that simple…

This is an admission that it’s not simple, but it is manageable if you look at it the right way. Hopefully, this idea of our calling as an “Intersection” of multiple factors can help give you some direction and peace. If nothing else, I hope it challenges you to evaluate what you do with your life through each of those lenses.

“A Good Day”

Last night, as I got ready to go to bed, I was kinda kicking myself.

Dammit I didn’t get that Chiefs’ game broken down

I really needed to finish that recruiting presentation

Gosh I was really hoping to get those opponent previews to the offensive staff today

I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to. There were unchecked items on my To Do list—— THE HORROR

So what went wrong? Where did the time go?

I ran an errand for a friend that is stuck out of town

I cooked dinner on FaceTime with my sister Molly and her boyfriend

I called a teammate that I hadn’t talked to in forever and caught up on life

I caught myself

Wait…. What is the implication of this line of thought?

1. The To-Do list is necessary and even crucial to the success of my day.

2. The “Other stuff” was a waste

Am I so conditioned to believing that I have to DO and DO and DO and DO that I am unable to realize that there is value and fulfillment in the investment into relationships?

Maybe I need to re-evaluate what makes a “A Good Day.”

When I start my day with prayer, I ask that God help me live out my mission statement.

Dear Lord, please help me to love others as you do, to be significant rather than successful, and to strive for excellence in all that I undertake

It is by that same criteria (in that same order!!), that I need to judge the quality of my day. Not in percent completion of my never-ending task list, but in accordance with the reasons I believe God has put me on this Earth.

My challenge to me today: Be present

I hope you’ll walk into that challenge with me!

TD

Quarantine

I’m going to start something new. Or restart something that I’ve been missing.

A regrettable casualty in my pursuit of a coaching career is my pursuit of creative authorship in all of its forms.

“I need to focus on football”

“My social accounts need to be reserved for recruiting purposes”

“I represent more than myself. I can’t espouse viewpoints that may not be shared by the program/department”

“There’s nothing I hate more than someone that insists on sharing their opinion that is not informed, and I no longer have time to stay informed”

“I don’t play anymore. People don’t care what I think”

“I need to stay in the background. It’s not my place to clamor for a public presence”

If not else, the Coronavirus has given us ALL time to think. And as I’ve thought and reflected, I’ve realized something— I miss being a Creator. I am an avid learner. A consumer of information. Books. Podcasts. Adapting new skills. Honing old ones. I love growing. I am constantly striving to better myself and the processes around me in incremental ways.

As I’ve thrown myself fully into learning football strategy and culture and team building and Biblical history and quarterback play and leadership and growth psychology and cooking and fasting and so many other things, I’ve consumed and consumed and consumed and consumed without fulfilling the other half of the natural cycle of growth and learning.

Creation

I’ve been taking and learning from so many, but I have not contributed much back in the form of ideas, thoughts, and viewpoints. I have not shared my own observations on the world, nor have I engaged others on theirs.

It’s time to change that.

So, right now, with nothing but time on my hands, I’m going to start doing that again. I’m going to start putting thoughts and ideas to paper. I’m going to use 30 minutes every morning to just fire from the hip. No outline. No rough draft. No cute formatting. No proofreading. I am not going to check the view numbers, or synchronize the posting on my social platforms. I am not going to ask others to RT me or help circulate me. I am not going to worry about whether I am right or politically correct or well-informed. I am not going to cater to recruits or football fans. I am just going to write and engage with others.

WHY?

1. I am made in God’s image as a CREATOR

2. I am meant to ENGAGE with others

Let’s get started…….

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